Poligami

Banyak perkara yang saya bincangkan dengan teman saya, gadis Kristian yang manis itu dalam perjalanan ke kedai makan tempoh hari. Kami bercerita perihal tugasan di hospital dan juga persiapannya dalam menghadapi majlis perkahwinannya tahun hadapan. Kagum saya dengan buah fikirannya tentang kepentingan memilih pasangan hidup yang seiring dan sefahaman dari segi pengamalan agama. “If you are a Godly type of person, you need to choose a Godly person, ” komennya. “Ya, accepting a person just because he loves you are not good enough. You need to choose a person who thinks in the same way as you,” saya menyambung.

“Aishah, I just want to ask you one question about Islam, about why Islam allowed a man to marry more than a woman in the same time. I really can’t accept it, “ saya terkedu sesaat dengan soalannya. Terus terang, saya belum pernah bersedia untuk menjawab soalan sedemikian.

Saya menarik nafas, diam sebentar sambil merenung wajahnya. Subhanallah.. “You mean that you don’t agree with polygamy is it?” saya menarik nafas lagi lalu menyambung, “Hm..in Al-Quran there’s a verse mentioning about polygamy: ‘Married the woman you like whether two, three or four. But if you are afraid that you can’t be fair to them, (marrying) one is enough.’ So before a man decide to marry a second wife, they need to think deeply whether they can treat the wives fairly or not. Most of people can’t be fair and I admit that there’s a lot of man practice polygamy just for the sake of ‘nafsu’. But I know several people who manage to build a harmony family with polygamy.” Teman saya mengangguk-angguk tanda faham.

“Probably you’ve heard about our Prophet Muhammad who married more than 4 women. At that time it was the early phase of Islam spread. Many people claimed that he married lot of woman because of sexual purpose. But if we know the history, almost all the women that he married were old and widowers and he married them to strengthen their faith towards Islam. Our prophet is a special case because he’s a perfect person and all the actions were guided by Allah and has its own purposes. At that time the syariat regarding polygamy also has not yet being established. He married those ladies not because of sex, but to help in strengthen his da’wah mission.”

Teman saya mengangguk-angguk lagi.

“I have a sweet history regarding how fair Prophet Muhammad was. One day, all the wives gathered in front of him and ask him who among the wives that he loves the most? Prophet Muhammad smiled and asked them to go back and will tell the person personally that she is the one who he loves the most. When all the wives went back, he bought few rings and brought them to the houses of each wives. He met every one of them personally and gave a ring to each of them and said that he loves her the most and advised everyone not to tell the others to avoid jealousy. That is the story about how fair Prophet Muhammad is and how good is his akhlaq towards his wives.” Teman saya tersenyum mendengar cerita tersebut. “It’s funny and cute,” komennya sambil tersenyum.

“I understood that almost all women can’t accept polygamy. I myself also if possible want to avoid polygamy. But I accept the fact that polygamy is one of the things that is allowed in Islam and has its own hikmah or goodness and if anybody denied it, it’s a sin.” Saya menyambung lagi.

Perbualan kami kemudianya beralih ke topik lain. Hati saya masih ditinggalkan dengan persoalan apakah saya telah menjawab soalan itu sebaiknya dan dalam masa yang sama menjaga nama baik Islam dan menyampaikan pada teman saya tentang keindahan Islam. Saya insaf betapa perlunya saya sentiasa bersedia dengan ilmu dan hujah dalam apa pun keadaan!